


I need you close

by mistilteinn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Excessive Eye Contact, Fingering, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Rimming, alec loves him so muchhhhhhh, it's a lot, it's sappy as shit yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-01 12:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistilteinn/pseuds/mistilteinn
Summary: Alec has been touching Magnus a lot more since he lost his powers.Magnus notices and wants to know why.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is my first time writing malec, and i'm very nervous about it! 
> 
> i've only been watching the show for about two weeks (i'm completely caught up), and i definitely feel like i don't quite have a handle on their characterization yet, but i'm getting there. this drabble is just practice for me!
> 
> okay, a couple things. i've expanded their relationship timeline, because it's my story and i want them to have been dating for 6 months rather than 2
> 
> also, this is set sometime between when magnus loses his powers and 3x15, because i am not emotionally prepared to tackle 3x15 or 3x16 angst yet.
> 
> (title from Ariana Grande's "needy")

At first, the change between them was subtle.

Well - maybe it wasn’t, Magnus had to concede, but it certainly seemed that way when compared to all of the _other_ changes he was going through.

Losing his magic affected him in a manner that he couldn’t possibly have predicted. He’d had it the entirety of his centuries-long life - before the loss, he truly had no idea where it ended and he began.

His magic had always provided a smooth boundary between him and the rest of the world, acting as a buffer of sorts. Now without it, he’s left with all of these - these jagged edges. It’s just. It’s a lot to process for Magnus. It’s almost like he’s a new person, now that everything he’s used to define himself for, well, ever is gone. He’s got to learn who he is all over again.

Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to figure it out alone. Alec seems to always be within arm’s reach these days, ready and more than willing to lend a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold.

And speaking of hands, that’s kind of what Magnus is trying to figure out right now.

See, Alexander is a lot of things, but casually affectionate just isn’t one of them. Or, well, _hasn’t been_ until rather recently.

And Magnus was fine with that, he really was. He knows he’s a pretty tactile person, and not everyone’s like him, and that’s okay. And he really _was_ okay with Alec’s relatively low level of physicality.

But this? This is totally different. Like, “Who are you and what have you done with my repressed boyfriend?” different.

See, ever since Magnus lost his powers, it’s like Alec can’t keep his hands off of him. And, no, not in a sexual way. They haven’t _actually_ had sex since It Happened - not that Magnus doesn’t _want_ to, but he’s got this stupid little voice in the back of his mind that keeps telling him that sex is gonna be Different without his magic: that he’s not going to be able to feel the sparks frisson under his skin when Alec skims his teeth along his collar bones, that prep and clean-up are gonna be more of a headache than Alec is going to want to deal with, that - worse yet - Alec is going to miss his warlock mark - won’t be as attracted to him without it.

And, wow. Magnus never once thought during his _very long_ life that he’d actually wish for his eyes back, but here he is, sitting at his desk, carefully applying liner and considering whether or not it would be entirely pathetic to go out and purchase some cat eye contact lenses. Sure, he’s never actually worn contacts before, and yes, he has spent the last four centuries hiding his mark with a vengeance, but somewhere along the way (alright, yes, since Alexander first called his eyes beautiful), that became more of a habit than anything else.

And now he’s gone off on a mental tangent, and he’s spent almost all of his “Magnus Time” thinking about buying contact lenses instead of what he actually wanted to think about, which is _why,_ exactly, Alexander has been touching him so much.

And, as if summoned by the Angel herself, Alec’s reflection suddenly appears next to him in the mirror. Magnus can’t help the smile that blooms across his face at the sight any more than he can control the warmth that spreads under the hand that Alexander rests on his shoulder.

Alec meets his eyes in the mirror and returns his smile, voice still sleep-rough. “Your makeup looks great - you’re getting better every day.”

Magnus preens at the compliment and closes his eyes, offering his cheek for a kiss, and suppresses a shiver when Alec slides his hand up to cup the side of his neck and hold him in place.

Magnus speaks, smile still curling his lips, as Alec straightens up and steps over to the closet, presumably looking for a shirt to steal. “Why thank you, darling. I do -”

“- need your stripes, I know.” The fond look that Alec sends him over his shoulder sets his heart pounding and his hands trembling.

Cheeks warm, Magnus abruptly drops his eyeliner on the desk and stands, pushing his chair out from under him. He sidles up next to Alec, bumping their shoulders lightly, and asks, “So what’s on the docket for today? Meeting with the Downworlder Council? A visit from the Clave? Demon-hunting mission?”

Magnus pulls a different shirt out of the closet as he lists each option, pushing them all into Alec’s waiting arms.

When he turns back to face his boyfriend, Alexander is ignoring the shirts to instead look at him with a bemused expression. Magnus raises his brows and pouts the tiniest bit, tilts his head in a way that he knows Alec loves.

Alec blinks at him and starts, eyes darting down to Magnus’s mouth for just a second, “Uh, none of those, actually. Just a normal day at the Institute.”

“Normal?” Magnus can’t help but scrunch his nose in distaste. “How...drab.”

He eyes the shirts in Alec’s hands critically and grabs them away, instead pulling out a fourth shirt from the closet. “This one will do quite nicely. Your day might be boring, but your color palette doesn’t have to be. Put that on.”

He turns with a flourish and sets about finding appropriate accessories. _Understated_ is his theme for the outfit. Not, perhaps, what he would choose for himself, but it isn’t often that he has the opportunity to dress Alec, and he doesn’t want to push too hard too fast and scare him off.

So, for now, a bespoke watch and fashionable tie will have to be enough.

“I know that mixing two different patterns might look scary, but I promise that it will look good -” Magnus is speaking as he turns back to Alec, but cuts himself off abruptly. The sleeves are much too short. Tragically so. Alec is already looking down at them and frowning. Magnus steps forward and smiles brightly. “Never fear, I can take care of that!”

He waves his free hand in a familiar gesture, but nothing happens. His stomach drops, and he can feel his face flush. Magnus closes his eyes for a second, avoids Alexander’s gaze.

Draping the tie over his shoulder, he unbuttons Alec’s cuffs, quickly rolling both of his sleeves up to his elbows.

Stepping back, Magnus smiles and admires his work, ignoring the hollow feeling in his chest. “There. Sexy and casual. Very on-brand for you.”

\---

Hours later, _finally,_ Magnus is done seeing clients for the day. He hasn’t actually charged any of them, per se, since he can’t mix potions or cast spells, but he can (and does!) brew a fresh pot of tea for each person, sitting with them and listening to their problems.

If they ask for it, he even gives out advice, using his own misadventures as evidence for or against the client’s current plan of action. Other times, he just listens and offers his best wishes.

He’s not sure if he’s helping at all, but all of his guests do seem happier as they leave the loft, and he’s also in higher spirits after seeing them. So, successful day, he supposes.

Now, though, he’s got a little bit of time before Alexander is set to get home, and he wants to work on dinner. Learning to cook was never something he _had_ to do as a fully functional warlock, but it was something he _wanted_ to do nonetheless. Now he’s infinitely grateful for that compulsion, and for the summer he spent at Castello de Vicarello.

Magnus lets his mind wander as he slices the vegetables, chicken already baking in the oven. He thinks about their trip to Havana a couple of months ago, how shy and unsure of himself Alexander had still been at that point. How they had spent hours drinking and dancing, how they had wandered the beach at dawn. How Alec had laid him down in the early morning light and had taken his time undressing him. How he’d -

Sharp pain yanks Magnus from his reverie. He drops the knife abruptly and his brow wrinkles as he brings his finger up to inspect it.

The cut doesn’t look too bad, but he’s surprised and annoyed that it happened at all. Swearing, he turns the sink on and runs his hand under the water, leaning heavily on the counter and trying to ignore the way that all of the blood in his body seems to be rushing between his legs.

He hears the front door open and close, recognizes the sound of Alexander’s footsteps. “In the kitchen!” He calls by way of greeting, already knowing that Alec can smell the food cooking.

He shuts off the water as Alec walks in, shoes and jacket gone. Alexander circles an arm around his waist and Magnus tilts his face up for a kiss, smiling against his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Oh!” Magnus steps back, careful to keep his bloody finger away from Alec’s (his) shirt. “Can you grab some tissues? I don’t think I have any bandages here.”

Magnus has to school the goofy smile off of his face when Alexander’s expression turns deadly serious in under a second. He loves when Alec overreacts to little things. “What happened?” He asks, voice low and gravely concerned.

“The knife - it just jumped up and bit me,” Magnus shrugs, smiling wryly, leaning back in Alec’s hold and enjoying the contact.

Alexander still looks uncomfortably serious. “Let me take care of you, baby.”

Magnus shoots him a look, makes to turn back to the counter. _“Baby,_ it’s just a scratch. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Alec catches his injured hand by the wrist, pulls it closer to look. “That’s what Sigurd the Mighty said. At least let me kiss it better.”

“Let you what?” Magnus can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips, but he doesn’t pull away when Alexander brings his hand up and kisses it gently, lacing their fingers together delicately after. Magnus’s laugh turns into a nervous giggle and his heart flutters behind his ribs. “Who’s Sigurd the Mighty?”

Alec brings their intertwined hands to his chest and smiles playfully at him. Magnus can feel his heart skip a beat at Alec’s expression. “Why - are you jealous?”

\---

After dinner, they sit at the table for a few minutes and talk about Alec’s day at the Institute. Alec has just finished complaining about some new Clave initiative when he quiets and winds their hands together.

Magnus feels his cheeks warm at the gentle touch. He shifts in his seat, makes a decision. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

And Alec looks so soft right now, so gentle. “Of course - you can ask me anything, Mags, you know that.”

Magnus smiles at him, squeezes his hand. “I’ve noticed something.”

Alec wrinkles his brow, smirks before he speaks. Magnus can feel the sass before he even says a word. “Is that supposed to be a question?”

Magnus rolls his eyes and frowns. “I’m getting to that. I’ve noticed something.” He repeats, steeling himself. “For the past few weeks, ever since I lost my magic, you’ve been touching me a lot. And I’m not complaining! I’ve just, I’ve just wondered _why,_ I suppose.”

For his part, Alexander doesn’t look all that surprised. He grimaces, makes to pull his hand away as he starts to lean back in his chair. Magnus can’t help the way he tightens his hold, the soft _no_ that he lets out. Alec does look surprised at that, eyebrows raised, mouth open just a bit.

He acquiesces, leaning forward again and keeping hold of Magnus’s hand. “Right, that.” He looks almost embarrassed, and oh wow, what is Magnus going to hear?

“I started doing some reading, about people who’ve lost something important to them. Physical contact can often be the best way to provide support for your partner. Better than talking at them, or trying to make them talk to you. Just, like, physically reminding them that you’re there for them.”

_“Oh,_ Alexander, that’s so sweet...” Magnus drawls out his name, tilting his head cutely. Alec pushes down a smile, looking a bit too pleased with himself. Magnus goes in for the kill. “You learned how to _read?”_

“Hey!” Alec’s expression becomes more serious, and the authoritative note in his voice sends a pleasant heat flooding through Magnus’s veins. Alec’s mouth curls at the flush on his cheeks, at the way that his eyes immediately drop in deference, and he sounds far more confident than Magnus is used to when he speaks again, this time asking a question. “You know what else counts as physical contact?”

Still blushing brilliantly, Magnus breaks into a smile and stands from the table, tugging on Alexander’s hand until he follows.

“I think I’ve got an idea.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander "physically reminds" Magnus that he's here for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to "slow hands" by niall horan and "let me" by zayn, both of which i had on repeat whilst writing this

By the time they make it to the bedroom, Alexander has him completely undressed, is backing him towards the bed. Magnus allows himself to fall back when Alec pushes him down and scrambles up the sheets. He leans against the pillows and tries to relax, watches Alec with a pounding heart and shaking hands.

Magnus’s skin prickles in anticipation when Alec unbuttons the first two buttons on his shirt and yanks it over his head, sending him a cocky smirk for good measure. And the infuriating thing is that Alec knows exactly how attractive he is - he knows that Magnus’s entire world tilted on its axis when they first met. Magnus may once have been a near-omnipotent warlock, but Alec’s always had this power over him. One look and Magnus is just - _his._

He clenches the bedsheets in his fists. “Were you planning on coming over here, or am I just supposed to stare at you all night?” Magnus snarks, blood burning in his veins. His smile turns feral when Alec takes the bait and makes quick work of his pants, climbing onto the bed and moving with an almost feline grace.

Pulse jumping, Magnus leans in and his eyes flutter shut as Alec looms over him. Alexander holds him steady, a hand curled around the back of his neck. Their mouths just brush together, a whisper of what’s to come.

Alec speaks against his lips, “I love you so much. Don’t ever forget that.”

Magnus breathes out a laugh at that, brings an arm up to wind around Alec’s shoulders, pull him closer. He slots their mouths together properly; a shiver makes its way down his spine when Alec opens the kiss, sliding his tongue into Magnus’s mouth.

Magnus tries to press closer, rolls his hips to relieve some of the pressure building in his stomach. Alec pulls back abruptly at that, mouth wet and curling attractively in a smirk. Magnus groans, frowning heavily, and lets his head fall back into the pillows. “What are you doing? C’mere,” Magnus can’t quite keep the whiny note out of his voice, and he frowns as Alec’s smile broadens.

“No,” Alec answers easily, and Magnus wrinkles his brow, affronted. Alexander lightly trails a finger down his thigh, continuing when Magnus flinches away from the gentle touch, ticklish. “We’re not rushing this. I’m going to remind you that I’m here, that I love you no matter what.”

Magnus bites back a smile, oddly touched that Alec is taking this seriously. “Okay.” He begins, willing to play along. “How do you plan to remind me of those things?”

Alec just answers him with a smile.

—-

Apparently Alec’s version of supporting and loving Magnus involves driving him insane. He’s spent the last twenty minutes or so just... _touching._ He started off slowly - running his hands over Magnus’s chest, tweaking a nipple along the way, fingers dancing along his ribs and dipping into the hollows above his hip bones, following their path with his mouth.

Magnus’s stomach flipped when Alec approached his cock, but he avoided it entirely, spreading his legs and moving right past it.

Now he’s kissing his way down Magnus’s right leg, holding him by the ankle to keep him from squirming away every time he touches a ticklish spot.

Magnus sighs when Alec kisses the inside of his knee and their eyes meet in the low light of the bedroom. He sees the glint of Alec’s teeth for a second, then he yelps at a sharp pain.

_“Did you just bite me?”_ Magnus sits up and whispers harshly, embarrassed at the way heat blooms from the spot and travels straight to his cock. Alec rubs soothing circles into the skin and smiles cheekily at him.

“You want me to stop?” He teases and makes to pull away entirely; Magnus panics, pulse jumping.

“No, no, no - stay right here - please.” Never before in his very long life has Magnus begged, but he’ll do anything to keep Alec’s hands on him. He’s surprised and embarrassed when he feels emotion welling in his chest.

It must show on his face, because Alec immediately lets go of his leg and hauls him down the bed so that they’re nose to nose. He touches their foreheads together and speaks, eyes serious. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere - I’m so sorry.” The tension in his chest is relieved when Alec cradles his face in his hands. “Can I take care of you?”

Magnus doesn’t trust his voice not to waver, so he just nods and shuts his eyes, willing the tears away. Alec brushes a hand over his waist and he arches into the touch, heat pooling under the skin like a brand. He wants that feeling all over his body.

“I love you,” Alec softly reminds him, kissing his forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, and finally mouth. The kiss stays chaste despite Magnus’s best efforts. Alec smiles as he pulls away, tracing his cheekbone with a reverent look in his eye. “You want it bad, don’t you?”

Magnus swallows and leans into the touch. “Yes, yes, yes, please, take care of me.”

And begging might be worth it, if Magnus gets this fond smile from Alec in return every time. “Lay down and spread your legs, baby,” Alec commands softly, eyes fluttering down between them. Magnus swallows and nods.

His face is hot and he feels rather vulnerable as he rearranges himself to Alec’s liking, but he knows that his boyfriend is going to take care of him.

Alec smiles at him from between his legs and brushes a thumb over the mark on the inside of his knee from earlier, chuckling at the way Magnus seems to melt under his touch.

He ducks down, licks a stripe up the crease where Magnus’s leg meets his hip. Sparks crackle under his skin where Alec skims his teeth along his hip bone, and he groans, throwing an arm over his eyes.

He can feel Alec’s breath ghosting over his dick and he tenses, anticipating the familiar wet heat of his lover’s mouth. Instead, Alexander pushes his legs farther apart and dips down lower, licks a firm stripe over his hole.

A gasp is punched from Magnus’s chest, and he props himself up on his elbows to see. Alec’s dark hair is messy and Magnus wants to run his fingers through it, to tug on those soft locks. Alec seems to read his mind, takes one hand and places it in his hair, holds onto the other.

Then he goes back in, insistently licking Magnus open. It’s so fucking wet, and hot, and Alec eats him out like a starving man - it’s overwhelming. Magnus pushes back against him, nerves singing as Alec fucks him with his tongue.

“Please, please, please,” he chants, not really sure what he’s asking for, but certain that Alec will give it to him.

Alec slips a finger in alongside his tongue, rubbing pleasantly against his walls. Magnus yanks his hair, choking out a moan when Alexander finds his prostate, presses against the bundle of nerves.

His cock is weeping, straining against his skin. There’s a current of electricity simmering just beneath the surface of his skin, and the only thing tethering him to the present is Alexander’s hand pinning his to the bed.

He jerks, arching off the bed when Alec slips a second finger in and takes his cock in his mouth, engulfing him all the way down to the root. It’s too much all at once, and tears prick at his eyes. Magnus sobs, lightheaded from the pleasure swirling around in his stomach, and Alexander bobs his head, cheeks hollowed out.

Alec pulls off with a wet sound and smiles up at Magnus. His eyes are glittering, his mouth is soft and gleaming in the light. He looks ethereal, like an angel come to Earth. “You ready to come, baby?”

Magnus can’t speak - he just nods and clenches his fist tighter in Alec’s hair, tugs upwards. Alec gets the message and shifts, letting go of his hand to move up the bed. He kisses Magnus messily, moving his fingers once again. Magnus moans into his mouth at that, fucks himself on Alexander’s hand.

He hears Alexander speaking, can barely make out what he’s saying. Alec slips a third finger inside of him, and the sensation is just the right side of painful. When he finds Magnus’s prostate again, he curls his fingers just right and presses insistently, yanking Magnus’s orgasm free from the tight coil in his stomach.

His mouth goes slack and the pleasure hits him all at once, shocking him with its intensity - the waves of pleasure send sparks all the way down to the tips of his toes. Magnus cries out, holds Alexander tightly as he shakes. Come splatters his stomach and cools on his overheated skin.

Magnus feels weightless; he’s floating along a river of contentment. He can’t move his body - his limbs are much too heavy - but he feels a comforting presence and he knows he’s safe here. He drifts for a few minutes, lingering in his mental paradise before slowly coming back to  the present.

When he opens his eyes, Alexander has him wrapped in his arms, is watching him with a soft tilt to his mouth. “How long was I gone?” He asks in a small voice, noticing that he’s under the blankets now.

“Just a few minutes, sweetheart. Long enough for me to clean you up.” Alec tilts his head, catches him in a gentle kiss that makes Magnus’s toes curl under the covers. When he pulls back, Alec looks unsure. “Was that okay? We haven’t done anything like that in a while - I’m sorry if it was too much -”

Magnus cuts him off with a hand curling around his jaw and a smile in his eyes. “Darling, that was perfect. Thank you - thank you so much.” His voice is still soft - moments like this feel like they’re tucked away from the rest of the world, safe in their bedroom, and Magnus is loathe to leave that fantasy.

Alexander feels the same way. He smoothes the hair back from Magnus’s forehead and nudges their noses together, holding eye contact. “I love you more than anything, Magnus. You were - so good for me. Thank you for letting me take care of you.” He says quietly, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of Magnus’s nose.

Magnus feels emotion rise in his chest once again and hides his face against Alec’s chest, sniffling and wondering when he became so sensitive.

Alec wraps him tighter in his arms and speaks again. “It’s okay to have feelings, Magnus. You’re going through a lot right now, it’s gonna take you a while to process it. I’m here for you - anything you need, any time of day. I love you.”

Magnus nods instead of laughing him off again, and he feels all of his remaining energy drain away. Exhausted, he mumbles into his love’s chest. “I love you too, Alexander... I am one lucky man.”

Alec presses a kiss against the top of his head and speaks once more. His voice is the last thing Magnus hears as he drifts off to sleep.

“Not as lucky as I am.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd as per usual. let me know what you think!! i'm v insecure about this (lmao) and i would love to know if anyone is interested in me writing more malec
> 
> i would love to do more, maybe like an AU at some point? idk, just let me know if you'd be interested at all in reading any more from me.
> 
> also, yes, i did rip the last two lines of dialogue from the 3x17 promo. i couldn't _not,_ yanno?


End file.
